The Truth about Emotions – A Soft Sell
Confirmation!

By Judith & Jim

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Register now for Bridging Heart and Marketing
the first-ever soft sell Internet marketing conference.
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Antonio Damasio, a world renowned neuro-scientist, argues that we use emotion to assign value to people, things, and events. And it is as a result of assigning value that we make decisions.

Emotion first, reason second.

Sound familiar? It should.

There’s an old adage that’s taken as gospel by marketers of all stripes. People buy emotionally and justify logically. In other words, heart first, head second.

So why do we say this is a Soft Sell Confirmation?

Because soft sell is heart-based — not in a sentimental, gushy way — like a drunk who hangs all over you telling how much you are loved, emotions pouring out all over the place.

That exhibits a lack of emotional value because it’s not considered. And very often, once the hangover has subsided, not even remembered.

Soft sell, and the purchase that follows, is very considered, but considered upon a valuation based in emotion.

Typically, we learned that decision making is a rational process.

For example, you make a list of the expected positive outcomes and balance that against a list of possible negative repercussions and, on the basis of that risk-reward assessment, you make a choice and go forward.

But that going-forward is a leap to faith!

Why? Because reason, by its very nature, has no final authority. Using reason you can always create a logical, even compelling argument for the opposite of any choice you make.

So there you are, standing on the “ground” of a very logically developed point of view. But how can you be sure that the choice you’ve rationally made is ultimately the right choice?

That fact is you can’t . . . not with reason alone . . . because reason can’t assign value, it can only be used to support the value you already feel.

You stand on a mountain of facts and then leap to faith. And faith is a value choice grounded in emotion.

So what does this have to do with soft sell marketing?

1) Soft sell is about creating and maintaining relationships and real relationships are not static. They are living, and dynamic, and evolving. They are sustained through the feeling(s) between the people involved.

You’ve seen emotionally empty relationships. They are hollow, creaky, and surely not rewarding. They’ve dried up.

Your success as a soft sell marketer depends on keeping your relationships with your customers/clients as rich, moist, and fertile as you can. That requires sincerity, authenticity, and emotional availability.

Don’t be afraid to let your customers feel you — not just know you but feel you. Let them into your life. Telling your story is one way to open that door.

2) You’ve heard people say, “Trust your gut.” Your gut really does have a brain that feeds information to the brain in your cranium.

And so does your heart.

According to seventeenth century French philosopher Blaise Pascal — “The heart has its ways of reasoning of which reason has no knowledge.”

And according to recent research, there is a “heart brain” — an elaborate processing system that acts independently of the cranial brain. It has it’s own way of learning, remembering, feeling and sensing.

So . .

“Trust your heart.”

The heart is an evaluation center, based in feeling. It’s the center of connection, emotional connection. Heart-based marketing is emotion-based marketing, followed by logical proof.

You can collect a mountain of facts and statistics about your product, and you need to, so you can assure your customer you know what you’re talking about.

So that your customer can confidently leap to faith.

That leap is a leap of the heart . . . a leap based in emotional evaluation.

When you’re thinking about a new product, or you’re about to write a sales letter, or an email notice, check in first with your heart. Let it lead. It will guide you to your reader’s sweet spot, right there at the left center of their chest.

So, to reach the heart of your prospects and customers, to market with with integrity and emotional intelligence, we invite you to join us for our “Bridging Heart and Marketing” Internet marketing conference that takes place February 22, 23, 24 at the Westin Los Angeles Airport. We’ll be sharing our spiritual approach and the soft sell wisdom of eleven world-class Internet marketers. Just click on Bridging Heart and Marketing — and join us.

Because It’s All in the Connection,

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Comments

  1. Ruth says:

    Thanks for reminding us once again of the need to be ‘real’ before we can be successful in selling. Whether we’re promoting an idea, a product, a service or a philosophy, success requires trust on both sides.

    I plan to focus on this concept in more depth – in both my personal and business relationships. Transparency builds trust. Trust is simply faith in the ‘rightness’ of the relationship. We must be a blessing in order to be blessed.

  2. Jim says:

    Hi Ruth,

    I love your last line. “We must be a blessing in order to be blessed.” And we bless by being real — emotionally, intelectually, and spiritually real so that we guard ourselves against and prevent creating illusion.

    It’s difficult enough, as it is, to remain integrous in this life, but to struggle through illusion just to get to the starting line is way too much to ask.

    We’re so much better off blessing each other with the truth of who we are because that’s a blessing in return even if others don’t immediately reciprocate. And we also bless life and Source.

    Thanks for your thoughts.

    Jim
    http://www.bridgingheartandmarketing.com/blog

  3. Danielle says:

    There’s some really lovely food for thought here… thank you.

    Sometimes moving forward from a place of authenticity and openness, or “realness”, has left me feeling very vulnerable and somewhat naive. Particularly in certain business circles where people just don’t get it.

    Your insight and guidance is truly appreciated.

    Danielle

  4. Jim says:

    Danielle,

    Yes, we agree. Openness and emotional availability is not always appropriate. In fact, as you say, there are circumstances where being “real” can be dangerous, because you will be taken advantage of.

    So the first need when meeting someone is to test the relationship. So . . .

    1) When meeting someone for the first time, ask a lot of questions and then listen. Your first meeting is not about your talking but about your listening. Find out who you are with.

    Don’t back off from your questions. They are the source of your comfort.

    2) Even when you know someone and maybe even have worked with them, granted you will know a lot more about them. Even still, when you begin a new project — test again. Things have changed. Make sure you know the lay of the land.

    And be sure to look for just how real and available the other person is. And trust your feelings. Feelings may be wrong at times , but usually not.

    Because It’s All in the Connection,
    Judith & Jim
    http://www.bridgingheartandmarketing.com/invitation

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