Respectful Buyers and Soft Sell Marketing

While we give a great deal of attention to the mindset and approach for sellers in the Soft Sell Paradigm, it’s also important to focus on the buyer’s side of the transaction. Because all too often buyers are not heart-based, not caring, not respectful buyers.

And, since Soft Sell Marketing is an evolutionary expansion, recognizing the buying-selling relationship as central to bringing consciousness into global commerce, it’s important to understand what it means to be Soft Sell Buyers! And to do that we must become more aware of  how most people view their part of the sales relationship.

Disrespect for Business

Recently we flew American Airlines down to Cabo San Lucas to visit Jim’s brother Bill and his wife Kelly. We enjoy being loyal Gold AAdvantage Members and seeing our credit card purchases add up to American Airlines mileage which we cash in for free flights like the one we were on.

That makes us extra conscious about how American Airlines is doing during this down-turn in the airlines industry.

As we boarded our flight and got seated, Judith commented out loud that the flight was not even half full and “that’s really tough for the airline.” In response, from the woman seated in front of us, came “I don’t give a s_ _ _ about the airlines.”

And that kind of disrespect is the epitome of the mean-spirited buyer — willing to get on board for her destination, but with no care or gratitude for all that goes into making that flight available to her needs.

Afraid of Those in Business

At a social gathering we attended last month, one of the men commented that he’d been given a truly ugly tie for his birthday and he knew it was expensive but would never wear it.

Jim asked, “Why don’t you take it back?”

“Oh no, I never do that. It’s embarrassing to tell the clerk I don’t like their merchandise, it feels like I’m being rude.”

That launched us into a group conversation about how each person saw themselves in relation to business. And six out of ten had some position that blocked their ability to feel – as the buyer – like a full partner with the seller.

Why? Most said something about being intimidated, or it would be “out of place” to request better customer care, or they’d feel ashamed bringing back something they’d been given (or even bought) and troubling the clerk. Throughout the conversation there was a clear tone of intimidation in relation to the seller – whether it was a store or the clerk they would have to deal with.

So when the buyer is afraid of people who sell, that causes a different kind of distance from the seller and a particular set of “neurotic” problems in the buying-selling relationship.

Time for A New Buyer-Seller Paradigm

With those two examples, featuring distinct disturbances in the buyer-seller relationship, we have evidence that the necessary evolution in commerce from “Buyer Beware” to “Buyer-Seller Be in Respectful Partnership” requires heightened consciousness from us as buyers.

As buyers, we must assure ourselves that we are holding up our end of that partnership – neither disparaging the world of business nor fleeing from our own responsibility in the buying-selling exchange.

When we bring ourselves into more heightened awareness of our impact on the seller, then we can bring ourselves into a far more responsible role in the commercial exchange and do our part to usher in the evolution of truly caring commerce.

Because It’s All in the Connection (including the business connection),

Judith

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