Judith and I were therapists/coaches who entered the world of marketing 3 ½ years ago. Even though we are best selling authors and have four books on the market, as we toured the country promoting our first book, and then not as ambitiously or expensively promoted the next three, it became progressively clear that we did NOT know what we were doing.

It became clear that a quality product wasn’t enough. Marketing was the key. In fact our first book publicist told us, “Just give me a good title, a good first chapter and last chapter, I don’t care what you put in the middle.”

We thought she was kidding. She wasn’t.

“That’s marketing,” she’d smile.

Three and ½ years ago we took Alex Mandossian’s “Teleseminar Secrets” course, which appears to be a course about how to do teleseminars, but it’s really a course about how to market. Teleseminars are just the vehicle.

We went to marketing conferences, and joined a mentorship program – Mike Filsaime’s “I5Gold.”

Some of what Stephen Pierce taught moved us along in our marketing development – primarily what he means by the phrase “your driving force.”

But those moments and men were not enough to overcome the discomfort we felt. Feeling emotionally displaced, in a strange land.

After a while, we wondered if we’d made a mistake and should go back to doing therapy.

But we kept discovering others who felt the same way. They were, for the most part, what we now call Soft Sell marketers— or at least they were trying to be marketers but not doing very well.

And there were more and more and more of them. Almost like we’d unconsciously put out a call and they were hearing us.

We all felt the same way — that we didn’t want to market using the techniques we were told were the only way to go — even though those techniques were very successful with regard to a particular mindset and marketplace.

So rather than conform, we saw there was a very large base, if not a huge base of people who wanted something different — who wanted to successfully market and remain within a sense of emotional and spiritual integrity between themselves and their customers.

That was the genesis of our “Soft Topic Copywriting Secrets” course

( http://www.softtopiccopywritingsecrets.com ) — a name Alex gave us — tho we now prefer Soft Sell copywriting because it’s clearer. That was also the genesis of our “Bridging Heart & Marketing”conference ( http://www.bridgingheartandmarketing.com ); this Bridging Heart & Marketing Blog; and the contest we held last week.

The genesis of a need for a different way of marketing that is not about abusive language like “killer copy,” “insane profits,” and “you’re a moron of you don’t buy this right now.”

A way that understands the deep interconnectedness between us all; how we are interdependent through and through and need each other as we create this world together; how our mutuality calls for two-way respect; and how this way or marketing develops its strategies and methods from that source-point.

And that leads us now to tell you why we think a new language is so vital.

Language is not trivial. It is the expression of beliefs, attitudes, prejudices, hopes, and aspirations.

So take the phrase: “traffic equals money” and add to it, “driving traffic.”

We’re sure you know what those phrases mean. But have you ever considered what they imply?

What does it mean to you when “traffic,” the flow of people to a site, becomes an abstraction.

When you think of “traffic,” do you see the individuals involved? Do you get a feel for them?

Now maybe even more important, and certainly more important from your marketing/sales hopes and dreams . . . when that abstraction becomes an industry term, as it has, how much thought and real feeling do you give to the personal qualities of your buyers?

Sure you may have done some market research and perhaps you have even taken some surveys to find out what your potential customers want, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

What sense of emotional connection do you have with them while planning a product launch? At the outset of a marketing campaign? How do you experience who they are? How does that affect the way you communicate with them? What is the nature of your relationship with them?

When you imagine someone considering marketing to you, do you like it when you know they consciously and unconsciously see you as an abstraction?

More intensely, if you have children, how do you feel knowing that major companies perceive your young children as potential lifetime customers and then do whatever they believe will make that happen?

We chose “prospectors” and “potential partners” as two of the three terms we put up for a vote for the following reasons:

When you use the tem “prospect,” it is not about the potential customer but about you.

If you say — “She is a prospect” — or more customarily — “She is my prospect” — that’s all about you. She exists in terms of your needs and ambitions. Even if you sincerely believe you intend to help her, she still exist in terms of you.

That’s a one-way arrow pointing back at you <<<<——-

The relationship is innocently but nevertheless fundamentally narcissistic.

Now when you use the term “prospector” that suggests that she is out in the world looking for something. That means she has a life outside of your need of her. She has a life in her own right. And now your relationship with her shifts.

A two-way arrow emerges <<<<——>>>> and the “other” — that person out there who has a real life of her own becomes real and vivid. No longer just your potential customer, but someone with whom you must enter into a real, reciprocal relationship for the betterment of both of you.

And the second term “potential partner,” clearly follows as soon as the person out there, the prospector, becomes someone alive and vital.

So marketing and selling is no longer just about payment for a product. The process begins with an emotional connection between you and your potential partner; it proceeds into an improvised co-creation with both of you as equal participants; culminating in a partnership emerging through which the sale is completed.

The truth is, if you are immersed in the abstract world of driving traffic, you’re still co-creating the sale, but unconsciously disconnected from your buyer. And because it’s unconscious, the emotional connection between you is stunted and hidden.

So as we change the language, we will all:

Bring what is already happening to the surface;

Make the emotional connection conscious;

Shed light on the co-created nature of a successful sale; and

Humanize the process of marketing and selling.

And our contest was just the beginning!

Becasue It’s All in the Connection,

Judith &  Jim

Only 7 days to go before “Bridging Heart and Marketing II,”  the only conference that supports the expansive, spiritually motivated sales and marketing needs of our care giving Soft Sell Community.

 Who do you know who is trying to grow their business with integrity but feeling like there’s no model for what they need to do? Who do you know who feels guilty about charging enough to actually make a living, much less make a lot of money from their expertise?
 
Please tell all of these people - who need your input - to visit our site -

Bridging Heart & Marketing  

Thank You.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 5th, 2008 at 2:30 am and is filed under Bridging Heart and Marketing. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.